new york, i love you, but you're bringing me down.

one great part of my indefinite-amount-of-time-off-traveling-the-world agenda, is the break that i have at home this month. i came home to attend a college friend's wedding in rhode island. that in itself was both a reunion and a destination, as we made a weekend out of discovering newport while we reconnected and caught ourselves up.

i am home for a total of 15 days and then head to peru for 15 days. when i return, i have a day to rest, and then i'm back on a plane headed to cairo via a 5-day tour in europe to see more friends, and new babies. so these 2 weeks at home have afforded me the very important opportunity to see my parents, my cats, and close friends before i return to indulge in my new, temporary?, 6-month life in cairo. (or maybe longer, tbd).

i can say that without a doubt, it has been wonderful to see all my friends, and to be back in nyc/nj during my absolute favorite time of year. the fall has a crispness to it that i look forward to ever year, along with apple picking, scarves, jackets, and all fun things associated with it. today the weather in cairo is a crisp 90 degrees. not so autumnal. i will need to adjust to the non-seasons seasons there.

since i've come home, i've spent a lot of time dividing my clothes into 3 piles: laundry, peru, and egypt. i get to restock my suitcases with "winter" clothes. although i don't believe cairo even has a winter. i think that my nyc fall will be cairo's winter, maybe. but at least i get to bring fresh new clothing options like boots and cardigans, since the reality is that soon it will start cooling down, and i will need them over the next 6 months. (i mean, i'll be there for 6 months. i'm very excited and anxious about bringing back 6 months worth of clothes and accessories, but i'm really not sure how much i'll need. like, do i need all 3 pairs of tall boots, or should i leave out the platforms? but what if i really want to wear them out one night with my black striped dress? and what if it does get cold enough to need tall boots? but do i want to be lugging around 2 huge, heavy bags through london and paris?) see...

i haven't been gone long enough to say that i missed home and needed to come back, but there hasn't been a day that's passed during these last 2 weeks, where i haven't missed cairo oh.so.much. i miss everything about it. i miss my family, my friends, the (lack of) air quality, and especially that feeling of excitement; of newness; of opportunity. being back in nyc so soon after escaping only reaffirms my decision to leave. nyc was a let down, and being back is bringing me down from the cairo-high that i've been on for the last 6 weeks. most of my friends have commented that i haven't looked happier, or that i am glowing in my pictures there. that's the sabeel i'm looking for. that's the point of this year. she got lost about 5 years ago, and i'm determined to find her here to stay.

since i've been back, i've felt like i need to leave again, and as soon as possible. it's too soon to be back. and i have nothing to gain from being here, besides the quality time with friends and family. it's not like i had a breakdown, meltdown or freak-out when i left, but i was just at the point where i couldn't stand to be where i was, doing what i was doing anymore. and having the time away in a completely different, but comfortable, setting has allowed me to relax back into myself. believe it or not, but being home right now has put me out of my comfort zone. that needs to eventually be fixed; or the location of home needs to be re-assessed.

in the meantime, i need to get the fuck out of new york. thanks for all the fun times though!