Flight booked, I'm heading home!

With an end date in sight, it's perfectly normal that I would be experiencing feelings of nostalgia, and reminiscing of my time here.

Everything is so different.  I head back to NYC in just 3 weeks, and my mind is flooded with thoughts of what it will be like to move back home.  Will I find a job quickly?  What is the market like now?  Will I land a good job?  How will the apartment hunt be?  What furniture do I need? How exciting to see rain and snow again!  And to wear scarves and coats!  And to be able to shop!  And find iced coffee exactly how I like it, anywhere!  And then I think about my time here.  What have these 2 years meant to me?  What have I learned about myself?  How has my life changed?  Did I get what I wanted out of this break?  Did I fulfill that desire of being an expat and living abroad?  Do I consider this successful, or did I fail at not being able to handle living here?

In light of recent horrible goings on in the Middle East region, it's hard to feel proud or satisfied with being here.  Without getting into any politics, let's just say that this is one f*cked up mess of a place.  I was just speaking with one of my closest friends here, an American journalist, and she's been feeling down and depressed, too.  She arrived several months before I did, and had that same optimistic, excited feeling about Egypt and the Middle East.  But a couple months after I arrived, things started to fall apart, and they've only continued to deteriorate since.  So do I feel like I was a part of something new and great?  Unfortunately, no. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that I'm leaving with a bitter taste of resentment in my mouth.  I literally have no hope of things ever improving here (Egypt, specifically) because some people (everyone in power) are making way too much money, with things being exactly the corrupt and awful way that they are.

Politics aside, that doesn't mean that personally, this wasn't an incredible experience for me.  I did after all, get to live abroad for 2 years, which is something I always wanted to do.  And not only did I pull it off, but I was successful!  I taught English- the cliche Expat profession, and when I wanted a job in my career, I found one.  I got married!  I helped my husband start his company, and that too, was a rapid success.  I traveled to so many local cities in the region, and experienced new things, everywhere.  So overall, it was an experience well worth it.

But my reasons for moving back home are very basic and a lot less artistic and idealistic.  As an adult, I worked very hard in my career in NYC to achieve success, financial stability, and respect.  But it's very hard to achieve those things here, while working and living honestly.  As a woman, I love myself and my body, and I am not ashamed of that.  I love fashion and I love going for walks.  Those two things are not mutually exclusive in my world.  I also love being respected by my surrounding human beings.  As a human, I believe in public transportation, alternative energies, healthy food, equality.  As a future mother, I believe that when I do have children, they should live freely in this world and think independently.  They shouldn't be locked in a bubble and view only one small perspective of life.  As an American, I believe that if I work hard enough, I can achieve all the success I want.  And these are pretty much all the same reasons why people will do anything to come live in the US.  I am just forever grateful and lucky to be a citizen.

So September 13th is the day.  It will be bittersweet to leave.  But I'll get to start my life all over again, having learned to see things differently and appreciate everything.

From Miss to Mrs. (Getting Married in Egypt - Finale)

I recently received a message from a reader looking for more info about the marriage process, so I'm here to write about it!  I really did neglect this blog once I started my other one, and never finished explaining the unnecessarily complicated marriage process!

When one of the partners is not a citizen, the process is a bit different and interesting.  It requires the couple to legalize their marriage through the Ministry of Justice, as opposed to having a katib kitab at a mosque, or a church wedding.  As described in the previous entries, you're required to fulfill many steps before getting to the Ministry of Justice, including other paper work, a medical exam, and for the foreigner, a residency visa.

We went on a Saturday afternoon, at 9am.  Upon arrival at the Ministry of Justice, after being led through a maze of army tanks and barbed wire on your way there, we were brought up to a waiting lounge fit with drabby lighting, ugly tables, and possibly the most uncomfortable chairs one could possibly sit in. As soon as we arrived, we knew to get ourselves helped first the good old Egyptian way, with a "tip."  Our paperwork was the first to get processed, so we only had to wait 3 hours, instead of who knows how long.

We had my hubby's parents and cousin, and a few friends there with us.  It was packed with other couples; some questionable, but most were just refuges from Palestine, Syria, or Sudan, who also have to go through this process.  It just so happened that we were approached by one of the somewhat questionable couples, asking for one of us to be their witness because theirs was running late.  We looked at each other, then looked at them: that pretty, blond European girl, and that guy in a galabaya...  Our party responded with a unanimous, "no."

After about an hour and a half, with my patience getting thin, we learned that the head employee responsible for writing the contracts was just running a bit late to work.  Normal, right?  At least while we waiting for him to grace the whole office with his presence, someone was filling out our contract.  So that by the time he arrived, it was go time.  We all crammed into this tiny, dark office, with broken chairs, writing on the file cabinets, and piles of binders and paperwork everywhere.

The officer reviewed the contract's details with us, and asked me if I had any conditions to write into my contract.  This kind of marriage contract is like a prenup.  You can essentially enter whatever terms and conditions you want for your marriage and/or divorce.  It was in that moment that I learned some crazy, shocking things about marriage in Egypt.  The officer had suggested that some of the typical conditions women can write down are freedom to work, freedom to travel, freedom to……..[on-set breakdown]  WHAT!?  I need to request those freedoms?  I don't have them otherwise?  Do women in Egypt not have these rights!?!?  He explained that these are really old-fashioned requests and that it's no longer effective, but if I wanted to right it for the sake of writing it, we could.  Fine.  OK.  We did.

After that drama, we signed our contracts with pens and thumbprints.  My hubby had been warning me all week that if he started crying, I better cry with him too.  I don't know what happened to his end of the deal.  I picked up that pen to sign my name, and I just started bawling.

And just like that we were married.  That night, his parents threw us a party with the family to celebrate.

We then took it to a translator's office to then bring it to the US Embassy to have them recognize our marriage, and begin the visa paperwork.