With an end date in sight, it's perfectly normal that I would be experiencing feelings of nostalgia, and reminiscing of my time here.
Everything is so different. I head back to NYC in just 3 weeks, and my mind is flooded with thoughts of what it will be like to move back home. Will I find a job quickly? What is the market like now? Will I land a good job? How will the apartment hunt be? What furniture do I need? How exciting to see rain and snow again! And to wear scarves and coats! And to be able to shop! And find iced coffee exactly how I like it, anywhere! And then I think about my time here. What have these 2 years meant to me? What have I learned about myself? How has my life changed? Did I get what I wanted out of this break? Did I fulfill that desire of being an expat and living abroad? Do I consider this successful, or did I fail at not being able to handle living here?
In light of recent horrible goings on in the Middle East region, it's hard to feel proud or satisfied with being here. Without getting into any politics, let's just say that this is one f*cked up mess of a place. I was just speaking with one of my closest friends here, an American journalist, and she's been feeling down and depressed, too. She arrived several months before I did, and had that same optimistic, excited feeling about Egypt and the Middle East. But a couple months after I arrived, things started to fall apart, and they've only continued to deteriorate since. So do I feel like I was a part of something new and great? Unfortunately, no. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that I'm leaving with a bitter taste of resentment in my mouth. I literally have no hope of things ever improving here (Egypt, specifically) because some people (everyone in power) are making way too much money, with things being exactly the corrupt and awful way that they are.
Politics aside, that doesn't mean that personally, this wasn't an incredible experience for me. I did after all, get to live abroad for 2 years, which is something I always wanted to do. And not only did I pull it off, but I was successful! I taught English- the cliche Expat profession, and when I wanted a job in my career, I found one. I got married! I helped my husband start his company, and that too, was a rapid success. I traveled to so many local cities in the region, and experienced new things, everywhere. So overall, it was an experience well worth it.
But my reasons for moving back home are very basic and a lot less artistic and idealistic. As an adult, I worked very hard in my career in NYC to achieve success, financial stability, and respect. But it's very hard to achieve those things here, while working and living honestly. As a woman, I love myself and my body, and I am not ashamed of that. I love fashion and I love going for walks. Those two things are not mutually exclusive in my world. I also love being respected by my surrounding human beings. As a human, I believe in public transportation, alternative energies, healthy food, equality. As a future mother, I believe that when I do have children, they should live freely in this world and think independently. They shouldn't be locked in a bubble and view only one small perspective of life. As an American, I believe that if I work hard enough, I can achieve all the success I want. And these are pretty much all the same reasons why people will do anything to come live in the US. I am just forever grateful and lucky to be a citizen.
So September 13th is the day. It will be bittersweet to leave. But I'll get to start my life all over again, having learned to see things differently and appreciate everything.
Everything is so different. I head back to NYC in just 3 weeks, and my mind is flooded with thoughts of what it will be like to move back home. Will I find a job quickly? What is the market like now? Will I land a good job? How will the apartment hunt be? What furniture do I need? How exciting to see rain and snow again! And to wear scarves and coats! And to be able to shop! And find iced coffee exactly how I like it, anywhere! And then I think about my time here. What have these 2 years meant to me? What have I learned about myself? How has my life changed? Did I get what I wanted out of this break? Did I fulfill that desire of being an expat and living abroad? Do I consider this successful, or did I fail at not being able to handle living here?
In light of recent horrible goings on in the Middle East region, it's hard to feel proud or satisfied with being here. Without getting into any politics, let's just say that this is one f*cked up mess of a place. I was just speaking with one of my closest friends here, an American journalist, and she's been feeling down and depressed, too. She arrived several months before I did, and had that same optimistic, excited feeling about Egypt and the Middle East. But a couple months after I arrived, things started to fall apart, and they've only continued to deteriorate since. So do I feel like I was a part of something new and great? Unfortunately, no. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that I'm leaving with a bitter taste of resentment in my mouth. I literally have no hope of things ever improving here (Egypt, specifically) because some people (everyone in power) are making way too much money, with things being exactly the corrupt and awful way that they are.
Politics aside, that doesn't mean that personally, this wasn't an incredible experience for me. I did after all, get to live abroad for 2 years, which is something I always wanted to do. And not only did I pull it off, but I was successful! I taught English- the cliche Expat profession, and when I wanted a job in my career, I found one. I got married! I helped my husband start his company, and that too, was a rapid success. I traveled to so many local cities in the region, and experienced new things, everywhere. So overall, it was an experience well worth it.
But my reasons for moving back home are very basic and a lot less artistic and idealistic. As an adult, I worked very hard in my career in NYC to achieve success, financial stability, and respect. But it's very hard to achieve those things here, while working and living honestly. As a woman, I love myself and my body, and I am not ashamed of that. I love fashion and I love going for walks. Those two things are not mutually exclusive in my world. I also love being respected by my surrounding human beings. As a human, I believe in public transportation, alternative energies, healthy food, equality. As a future mother, I believe that when I do have children, they should live freely in this world and think independently. They shouldn't be locked in a bubble and view only one small perspective of life. As an American, I believe that if I work hard enough, I can achieve all the success I want. And these are pretty much all the same reasons why people will do anything to come live in the US. I am just forever grateful and lucky to be a citizen.
So September 13th is the day. It will be bittersweet to leave. But I'll get to start my life all over again, having learned to see things differently and appreciate everything.
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